Lies
by MiyaBlack
Summary: Nagisa was the first to notice. One sided love.


Nagisa was the first to notice.  
It wasn't uncommon for Rin to come and pick Haruka up after practice. And at first, it was all okay, and Makoto even walked with them a few times.

But not lately.

As soon as he was done with his training, the green eyed teen would leave the pool and make a beeline to the shower.

"I need to pick up the twins from their afternoon classes." he had explained with an apologetic smile when Nagisa confronted him about it.

It was a completely valid excuse, and there was no reason for anyone to doubt him. After all it was Makoto. Kind, soft smiled Makoto. He would never lie unless strictly necessary.

But Nagisa knew something was off.

And then, the joint trainings began.

It was nothing new, and they had done it frequently after regionals. However, Rin and Haruka hadn't been a couple back then.

Makoto finished his training, picked up his things and left. Not even taking a shower. He smiled over his shoulder and waved everyone goodbye and disappeared. And if that wasn't suspicious enough, he started skipping training.

"Ran got a small flu, so I had to stay home." he explained, once he was confronted, now by the whole team.

"I'm coming with you to see him an-" Haru started with a slightly worried frown.

"No." Makoto snapped, a bit too forcefully and quickly, something dark flashing in his eyes just for a brief moment. But long enough for Nagisa to see it.

"I already got shot against it, Haru-chan. I won't get sick, but you might." he quickly tried to mend the snapping, speaking kindly and with a small smile.

And Nagisa finally understood what had been wrong all along.

Makoto had a kind smile, but what really made it a trade marked Makoto smile were his eyes. His eyes always shined whenever he smiled. It was like the smile transformed all of his face.

But not this time. Not for a while now.

Makoto's eyes were no longer smiling. That was what was missing and that was what was wrong.

"I don't care, I'm going." Haruka insisted, until Nagisa pulled on his hand. "Maybe it's just a family situation, Haru-chan. We can wait until Mako-chan says it's okay to visit Ran-chan." the blond asked with a bright smile on his face. Haruka seemed to be about to protest when Rin's voice called for him from the gates.

Haruka hesitated for a second, but in the end, he turned to his boyfriend.

Nagisa turned to look at Makoto, but he was already halfway out of the school.

"I forgot something! I have to go now!" Nagisa called to Rei who was just coming out of the dressing rooms.

It was hard for Nagisa to follow Makoto around the city. When they had been younger, Makoto had been somewhat awkward and tripped often, but when the brunette wanted to run, he surely could.

At first Nagisa thought they were heading to Makoto's home, so he was a bit more relaxed about trailing him. But, as soon as he walked past the turn to his home, Nagisa quickened the pace.

After some minutes of carefully trailing behind Makoto, far enough to not be noticed but close enough not to lose him. Finally Makoto stopped at what Nagisa recognized as the place where Haruka had told them he wanted to participate on the rally.

With a low growl, Makoto kicked a can that was in his way and let himself fall on the bench that overlooked the ocean. His shoulder were tense and shaking.

Nagisa had never seen Makoto like this. He wanted to approach him… but he was honestly scared. Makoto was not supposed to break down. He was their captain, their friend… for crying out loud, he was sometimes more of a mother than his own mother was. And that was what scared him. Nagisa didn't know how he would react, having never seen this side of his friend.

Makoto bent down and leaned his forehead over his crossed arms and deep sobs started filling the air between them.

Scared, now for his friend, Nagisa jumped out of his hiding place behind a tree. "Mako-chan! Are you okay?"

With a started jump, Makoto jumped up and after furiously cleaning his face he turned to his teammate. "Nagisa! Y-You surprised me!" he replied with a small smile that was completely out of place. His eyes were slightly puffy and terribly sad. His cheeks were red and even if he'd try to rub them away, new tears were falling from his eyes.

"… Makoto, stop it." Nagisa said in a serious voice, looking directly at his friend's eyes.

"Stop wha-"

"Don't even try to lie to me." Nagisa warned, crossing his arms above his chest.

Makoto closed his mouth, his smile quickly faded away.

"You like Haru-chan… don't you?" Nagisa asked softly sitting besides his friend.

"It doesn't really matter." Makoto muttered somewhat bitterly.

"But it does!" Nagisa whined putting his hand on Makoto's broad shoulder. "You should tell him how you feel!"

"I already did."

Makoto's voice was barely above a whisper, but Nagisa winced as he heard the hurt in his friend's voice.

"And what-" Nagisa started, but Makoto quickly interrupted him, as if he didn't even want to remember.

"It didn't matter."

Nagisa opened his mouth and then closed it again. "But… but it's not fair." he muttered, looking sorrowfully at Makoto.

"Not fair?" Makoto asked, a bitter smile spread on his features, his green eyes dark with sorrow. "Haru is happy. It's not about fairness, Nagisa."

"But what about you?" the blond asked, now raising his voice. "It's not fair for you! You have to start worrying about yourself too, Mako-chan!"

"It doesn't matter!" Makoto yelled jumping up from the bench, making Nagisa draw back. "If I think it does, then I'll feel bitter and sad and… And Haru is happy! I should be happy for him! I should…!"

After a few minutes in silence, in which Nagisa was sure Makoto was fighting back tears, the brunette leaned down and picked up his bag.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Nagisa. Sorry about this…" Makoto muttered as he started walking away.

Makoto knew he wouldn't last long like this. He knew it would break him apart sooner or later… but what else could he do?

He stopped halfway down the stairs, blue eyes looking up at him.

"Hey, Haru." Makoto said with a small smile as he waved at the other boy.

If Haruka noticed his red face and the traces of tears in his cheeks, Makoto could not tell, since the other boy didn't react at all.

"I'll see you tomorrow." he muttered before anything else could be said and walked down the stairs, passing right besides Haruka.

Makoto didn't know what he was expecting. Maybe for Haruka to stop him, to say something… but whatever it was, it didn't happen.

Nothing happened.

Haruka simply let him go.

Maybe it was unfair to ask something out of Haruka, Makoto realized. Maybe the other didn't understand at all what was going through his mind and heart.

But even that hurt him deeper than he was willing to admit. Weren't they supposed to understand each other more than anyone else?

Lies.

Makoto had been lying to himself all that time.


End file.
